Terrible, Horrible, No Good…

I have a confession to make… I may or may not have been verbally abusive to an automated voice system.

Have you ever tried to deal with an overly polite hearing impaired computer generated voice while your teething baby screeched in your ear?

“Please tell me your ID number so that I can better assist you…”


“I’m sorry I didn’t get that. Try using the key pad to enter your ID number.”


“Let me see if I got this correct… 9757588. Is this correct? Say yes or no.”


“I’m sorry I didn’t get that. Please say yes or no.”


“Please tell me your ID number so that I can better assist you…”

“Just let me talk to a $#@!^&* person you stupid *@#$%!”

It literally took me thirty minutes to talk to a person with my insurance company to try to figure out why they had not paid our medical bill from when Bridget had an emergency appendectomy in June. After finally getting in touch with an actual person my cell phone threatened to die on me so I had to plug it in and keep Penelope within reach…. she did not like this.

Every time they put me on hold I felt like I was being held hostage by the elevator music they were blasting through the phone.

If it was meant to calm me down it had the opposite effect.

After spending an hour trying to resolve the issue (which never got resolved) Penelope and I were both on the verge of a melt down. She had refused a nap and I never got to workout. We were a mess.

I was so frazzled, I didn’t know what else to do but to leave the house. I had forty-five minutes before I had to pick up Bridget from her friend’s house. I couldn’t stand one more second of Penelope clawing to get away from me and then crying when I put her down. So, we headed to Barnes and Noble for a change of scenery. I figured Penelope could tear books off of someone else’s book shelf while I drank a coffee and ate a cookie… I REALLY wanted a cookie.

I didn’t get the cookie.

I headed toward the kid’s section so that Penelope could stare at the little kids and crawl freely without the threat of falling down a flight of stairs. Before I knew it Miss America sat down next to me… okay so she wasn’t Miss America, she was married with kids. She was wearing designer jeans and a cute yellow sweater. Her two kids played politely with the train set while using phrases like “be patient”.

I looked down and realized that I was wearing my yoga pants with the hole in the crotch because I made the mistake of wearing them to spin class. I was also wearing the sweat shirt that I had accidentally washed with my favorite chapstick (kiwi lip smackers). It looked like I had just got done eating a Carl’s Jr. burger Paris Hilton style.


Only, I haven’t had the pleasure of eating any burgers as of late… but at this point in my day a burger did sound pretty good.

Instead of eating a burger I was sitting next to this lady who was giving me that pitying look I have grown to hate. We made a little small talk and I tried to act like I was perfectly okay with looking like a hobo while she pretended like she was okay with it too. Finally, it was time to pick up Bridget.

As I drove to get her I thought about my day and how I felt like I had a dark cloud hovering over my head that I just couldn’t shake off.

I looked up and there literally was a dark cloud hovering overhead, it had been there all day. As I was driving I just kept thinking that all I wanted was a little bit of sunshine. Almost as soon as the thought passed through my mind the sun began to set, ducking under the cloud giving me a quick glimpse before it headed behind the mountains.

It almost felt like divine intervention. I was so happy that I pulled over and took this picture…

dark cloud

Then I saw a dog get hit by a car… That’s when I decided that today was a bunch of crap and I need to go to sleep ASAP so that I could have a do over.

…or maybe I’ll just move to Australia.

5 thoughts on “Terrible, Horrible, No Good…

      • How can it be that your horrible day actually put a smile on my face? Well written, compelling and relevant! We’ve all been there (well, most of us have!) so we can relate to the plight of madness! Thanks for sharing… and alas, today is a new day!

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