I’ve got issues…

I have taken to throwing snowballs at woodland creatures and plotting the demise of five wiener dogs. I have officially turned into the stuff that Disney villans are made of.

I don’t know how this has happened. I’m a nice person.

I should have been more patient with the mentally handicapped woodpecker who insisted on pecking away at my metal chimney during Penelope’s morning nap. But those mean wiener dogs next door have got it coming to them. We have a history, you see.

I knew today was going to be a yucky day when I woke up with sausage fingers. The day before I had a “to hell with it” day. I ate Chick-Fil-A for lunch and had sushi and wine for dinner…

It was glorious while it lasted. Then this morning I stepped on the scale to assess the damage which is never a good idea after guzzling soy sauce the night before… it wasn’t pretty.

I looked at the calendar and realized that I’m supposed to take another round of pictures this friday. Where did the time go? And why aren’t I so much further than I am? Seriously, one day of being naughty and I feel like all of the hard work of the past month doesn’t count.

I wouldn’t expect a loss this week after the in-laws were in town. I didn’t gorge myself to self-destruction but I wasn’t obsessed with eating uber healthy either. I should have been able to sustain my weight.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

After I got done weighing myself I came down stairs to assess my “To Do” list. I had a ton of laundry and the usual dishes to do. I also had to take the time to navigate my way through an automated voice system so that I could yell at an actual person with my health insurance who has yet to pay for Bridget’s emergency appendectomy that took place last June.

I don’t like having to get all gangsta… it makes me grumpy.

Before I tackled all of those obstacles I put on my sports bra, wiped the mascara out from under my eyes and headed for the gym. I had to do something to change this Debbie Downer mood I was in.

It was crazy how good I felt after I got that part of my day complete. I totally forgot about my feud with the wiener dogs next door…

That is, until they woke her up from her afternoon nap.

I’m telling you, they’ve got it coming…

What is wrong with me!?