Guess what, I’m still at home alone without my husband who is out doing this…
But I can’t whine about it anymore because the truth is I’m very fortunate. Now this may come as a shock to you but when it comes to the real drama of life I shy away from talking about it. Don’t get me wrong I can be dramatic about all kinds of stupid things and get all dramatic while I’m making fun of myself but when it comes to the real stuff I don’t want to have any part of it.
That is why when I saw the news yesterday that reported 19 firefighters had died in a wildland fire out doing what my husband is currently doing I turned the TV off. Then this morning when I clicked on MSN I saw one of the widows looking me right in the eye and couldn’t handle that either so I clicked off of it. And that’s why I haven’t written a blog sooner. It was the only thing on my mind and I didn’t want to write about it.
Here I was sitting at home lamenting over the fact that I haven’t had any “me” time for the past two weeks while somewhere out there someone just like me won’t get to see her husband again. It definitely puts things into perspective.
I don’t get to talk to Brent everyday but he does his best to check in and let me know how things are going. A lot of the firefighters that he’s working with are actually from Arizona and one of the men that he’s working with has a son who was on that very crew that got caught in the fire. Fortunately for him the crew had split up and his son was safe from the blaze. However, last year he was nominated rookie of the year and was granted the honor of training the next group of guys that came in. Many of the men that he trained were a part of the 19 who died in that fire in Arizona. Brent said it was heart breaking to hear this man try to reassure his son over the phone that there was nothing that he could have done. It was just a perfect storm of circumstance that nobody could have predicted.
The day after the incident all of the firefighters gathered early to discuss what had happened to those firefighters in Arizona. The mood was very somber and all of those guys took the time to call their loved ones just to reassure them that they were safe and that what had happened to that crew was a very rare incident.
During this time I couldn’t help but think about the phone call I got from Brent early in his deployment talking about how the starter on their engine wasn’t working and they couldn’t go anywhere. They were supposed to be positioned in the most dangerous part of the fire and he was upset to be missing out on all of the action. While he went on and on about how mad he was not to be out there I couldn’t help but be grateful that the engine didn’t decide to go out while they were in the line of fire… literally.
It makes me wonder how many close calls I’ve actually had in life and never knew it. It makes me realize that every moment that I have with those that I love really is a gift and I should be more grateful.
The Fourth of July is in just a few days but I’m not as excited about it as I would normally be. I’m more excited for this Saturday to arrive so that I can give my husband that hug and kiss I never got to give him on his departure since he left so spur of the moment. I just can’t wait to see that guy!
Until then Penelope has decided to do her part in the fight against fire… by eating a box of matches.
What can I say? She’s just like her father.
***If you are like me and you feel helpless for those who lost their loved ones in this fire or any wildland fire for that matter you can make donations to Wildland Firefighter Foundation. It’s a non-profit organization that provides immediate financial support to the families of fallen firefighters along with ongoing emotional support, advocacy and recognition to fallen or injured firefighters and their families***
Let’s just say that I prefer to be on the donating side of this organization…