Do you remember that time when I told you that I felt like each stage of life has a certain flavor to it? Well, my life is taking on a different flavor… I can smell it.
This morning when I woke up I was completely indifferent to whatever transpired on the scale. I felt like I had bigger things on my mind. I had plans. But I did my obligatory strip down and emptying of the bladder ritual anyway to fulfill my weigh-in obligations. It said 190.2… Not quite the 180’s like I had hoped but I’m not bothered by it in the least. I’ll get there.
Today, I come from a place of really liking who I am… I would totally hang out with myself.
Self-doubt is like a cancer. As soon as you free yourself from its grasp anything is possible. I’m in that place right now. I’m currently working on a writing project, one that has been a dream of mine to accomplish. It doesn’t even have to get published it just has to be completed because if it doesn’t then the story will sit in my brain and fester.
Weight loss goals and writing goals actually have a lot in common. You have to do 100% of the work up front and then hope that it actually pays off in the end. I’ve spent so much time debating on whether the effort was worth it. Then I realized that it isn’t the end result that I’m actually after. It’s the process that is so rewarding.
The truth is eating healthy feels good. When you fuel your body the way nature intended you feel like a goddess and the food you put into your body is an offering.
When you lift something impossibly heavy you feel like a warrior ready to move any obstacle that may come your way. You feel like there is nothing that can stop you from getting to where you want to go.
Writing does the same thing for my brain. It clears out the cobwebs and makes room for a world no one else can see. Then when I put it down on paper I’ve given life to something that was lifeless.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I only like me when I’m striving to be who I’m supposed to be. Everyone has an internal gauge of who they have the potential to become. We may not know exactly who that is supposed to be but we know when we aren’t living up to it. It feels like a broken promise.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want to have to live with that regret so I’m doing something to fulfill it.
Nina in the Now 
Loved this post, so true. We are so aware of when we are not doing our best to achieve what we want and who we want to be, but often were unaware of what it is we are striving for. Hopefully one day we will find it, but for now all we can do is try to be the best version of ourselves.