So, I lost my phone today.

If you know me then this wouldn’t really surprise  you. I’m not particularly attached to my phone. I mainly use it as a watch, and I like to take pictures on it sometimes… Oh and when I run I listen to pandora on it. But other than that I could care less about it.

My friends get irritated with me because I’m the worst texter ever and I could truly care less about what someone might be tweeting in my absence. I’ll get a message at a red light and then the light will turn green before I can respond. By the time I’ve gotten to where I was going I’ve forgotten about it and they never hear back from me. Or it will die and I’ll forget to plug it in until I’m planning on going for a run and need it to listen to music.  I kind of view it as a tracking device and I would much rather be off the grid… I’m just weird like that.

Way back in the day when I had all of my friend’s phone numbers memorized I would judge how cool a person was by how unattainable they were. If I could never get a hold of them I immediately thought it was because they were out doing fun stuff  and it made me want to hang out with them even more. Now everyone is just too attainable in my opinion. We send someone a message and demand that they pay attention to us immediately. Sometimes I don’t want to pay attention to people. Sometimes I like being unattainable.

With that said, I’m still completely baffled as to how I lost my phone on this particular day because I was being extra careful.

When I woke up this morning I was planning on taking Penelope on an early morning bike ride before we dropped Bridget off at school. After I got her situated in her seat and her helmet strapped on I discovered that my front tire was flat. Bummer. Penelope was not happy about this so I let her run around the house with her helmet strapped on to ease the disappointment. After she ricocheted off of the wall for the fifth time I was tempted to make her wear it all day.

Instead, I got her dressed and took her to the Streets of Southglenn to play at the splash park with her friend Lucy. It was a little further than we usually venture but Lucy moved near there so we’re exploring new areas to meet up for play dates.

It was so fun! I took a million pictures of Penelope playing in the fountains on my phone before we headed over to the library that was within walking distance. Once we arrived to the library we discovered that it was toddler story time. Penelope kept trying to take the librarian’s books before she could read them aloud and cried when her shaker instrument had to be given back. At that point my friend Andrea (Lucy’s mom) and  I decided that the girls had had enough so we headed out. Right before we left, Andrea discovered that her keys were missing so we spent ten minutes looking for them. We later found them in a deep dark crevice of her stroller.

While I helped Andrea look for her keys I couldn’t help but think, “I’m so glad it’s not me this time.” Then I double checked to make sure I had my phone and my keys in the bottom of my stroller because that kind of thing really does happen to me all of the time. We literally walked around the corner and to our cars… and sometime during that time frame I lost my phone. That’s what I get for thinking asshole thoughts I guess.

To make a long story short, Penelope didn’t get a nap and I never found my phone.

Usually when things go wrong like that I tend to think that I’ve earned the right to eat a cookie… or drink a bottle of wine… or order Chinese food at the end of the day. That’s just how my brain is wired.

I remember one time when I was little I had scraped my knee really bad falling off of my bike and later that night I couldn’t sleep. This was back in the day when I would fake a tummy ache every night just so that I had an excuse to get out of bed. Plus, I always got to drink some Pepto Bismol which I found incredibly delightful at the time. (Gross, I know.) That night when I went to whine to my parents they didn’t make me go back to bed. Instead, I got to sit on my mom’s lap and eat a popsicle while watching The Golden Girls.  A treat for having a crappy day.

Anyway, I think I’m always looking for a special treat like that when things don’t go my way. Strangely, Pepto Bismol doesn’t really seem to do the trick anymore. The brat in me feels like everything should go my way so when it doesn’t I deserve a treat. This is a bad habit to have when you are prone to screwing up as much as I am. You may laugh and think I’m just being self-deprecating but it’s the truth. I lose shit and I do weird things all of the time…. Don’t get me wrong, I’m brilliant in my own way but I’m more like an idiot savant than anything.

The whole point of my story is to tell you that I broke the cycle tonight. Instead, of having a “screw it” moment I stayed on track. I didn’t make the meal that I was planning  to make because Penelope was super grumpy. We had breakfast for dinner instead. I grappled with my love for all things pancake for a few minutes but stuck to my guns and had oatmeal with eggs and bacon instead. It was the perfect compromise, because for some inexplicable reason eating breakfast at night makes me happy. So I did have a treat after all.