With Effort…

Hi friends.

Did you miss me?

I sure missed you. I haven’t written one blog post during my summer break. It feels weird but it was intentional for several reasons. However, the main reason was due to the fact that there was something that I’ve been needing to do but have been putting off.

14205956_10210154828448017_1279282647016138264_o

You see, I’ve had this project burning in the back of my head, a book that I’ve wanted to write for over 6 years. It was something that scared the crap out of me because…

1.) With effort comes the possibility of failure.

2.) Some of the content required me to dig deep and address the insecurities I had growing up in order to make my character authentic.

I knew that if I got into the swing of writing blog posts again, I would justify not finishing the book because I was writing something else. The blog has been my excuse for a few years now. For some reason this summer I knew that I couldn’t use the blog as a crutch anymore. In order to be happy I needed to fulfill a promise I made to myself. I needed to finish this book.

So I created a routine that allowed me the creative time that I needed to finish my project but also the down time I needed to enjoy with my family. My daily routine mainly consisted of a variation of the same thing. Waking up early enough to watch the sun rise, drinking my first round of iced coffee and soaking in the moment the world seems to come to life again…

13710546_10209704599352571_3615397915675881471_o

Then I would go to the gym and listen to music that matched the tone of my story and imagine all of the adventures my characters would have that day when I had the time to write it all down.

After the gym we always went on some sort of random adventure. Sometimes it was just Penelope and I since Bridget was working at a summer camp and Brent was busy checking things off of his list for Paramedic School. And then sometimes we all got to do things together.

13923473_10209901064984089_7801715260676811342_o 13908950_10209903018552927_7052329292187645332_o 13719513_10209799303880125_5880716973316301862_o 13692664_10209743589207293_8005432203028916705_n 13691006_10209775775531931_6512065894121420261_o 13654197_10209674679044582_338272477053422628_n 13653303_10209696526190747_2361728128306042630_o 13653160_10209700728335798_1606116751386942808_o 13626998_10209808726595687_258571905991912435_n 13619996_10209716652973904_703908132049777706_n 13466070_10209533470234450_6205335773738351664_n 13458681_10209501477234645_2458316241590900115_o 13445670_10209454226453405_1478426922725803986_n 13443193_10209520949561441_1914963052361646329_o 13419079_10209472148541446_486771510680400762_n 13417562_10209422302495326_983571789333611157_n 13416864_10209477718200684_2704523276177780171_o 13415559_10209405836363683_5326885903769017550_o 13413608_10209489353131550_7935496551579768575_n 13412125_10209455715810638_5419213363088171957_o 13407116_10209429017543198_7974987744707198686_n 13403289_10209480768196932_5233175574709477052_o 13403193_10209405841203804_2029875597443711403_o 13392298_10209455709090470_8234731767475194480_o 13350537_10209396367206960_1056003257104559665_o 13340317_10209394869009506_135555847145289835_o 13325710_10209390788067485_2427276579550369128_n 13323692_10209396014958154_347216081883778245_o 13320911_10209396030758549_6376474354957407146_o 13320533_10209396361886827_5374173694886741868_o 13316879_10209396006277937_3908431480263296583_o 13268434_10209352493950156_6303050155220607492_o

No two days were exactly the same. Usually after our daily adventure, and after I was assured that Penelope had been thoroughly worn out, I would either put her down for a nap or let her watch a movie and rest. While she was preoccupied, I would take the time to sit outside in the shade of my back deck, drink round 2 of some home made iced coffee and write.

And that is where I proceeded to write, and write, and write.

13503028_10209561922065728_1923557767488083152_o

I wrote more than I ever felt possible and the process didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. I started the summer with 40 pages already complete and by the time I was done I had completed over 300 pages. The completion snuck up on me and when I was done I was in awe of myself.

I actually did it!

14192160_10210155101854852_6145368599948996180_n

I couldn’t be more satisfied with myself. This was probably one of my greatest accomplishments. Not because writing a book is hard (which, sometimes it is), but because I was so scared to do it. Once I committed to finishing it, the process was surprisingly easy. The book just seemed to write itself. The characters just kind of took over and took the book into a direction I never could have planned out in advance. It was like they had been waiting all this time for their story to be told.

Last year was rough. I was physically maimed, not able to even bathe myself or walk and I was battered and floundering mentally and emotionally as well.

So for the summer, my goal was to take care of myself (both mentally and physically) and it ended up being the best summer I’ve had since I’ve started my teaching career. I set some goals based on who I wanted to be. I created a routine that was both productive and fulfilling. And through it all I found that elusive balance that I’m always looking for, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

Now that school has started I have to create new goals, a new routine and a new type of balance. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I’m getting there.

And so goes the theme of my life…

One thought on “With Effort…

  1. It is nice to see you back. That is a great accomplishment. I have also wanted to write a book (or books) but fear is probably my biggest emotion about it, too. Have you pursued getting it published? What was that process like? -Jenn

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.