Tricky Territory


It’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m sitting in the warm spot on the couch where Scout was sleeping before he heard me sneak down the stairs.

He must have jumped down when he heard me bumbling around in the dark and is currently looking up at me groggily from his new lesser station in life on the floor as I type.

He’s probably wondering when I’ll come to my senses and go back to bed so that he can climb back to his warm forbidden spot.

But it won’t happen, not tonight anyway.

You see, he wasn’t the only one trespassing  throughout the night. Just one hour earlier Penelope had made her way into our bed where she initially snuggled the sucker who invited her in (Brent) and eventually made her way to the soft comfort of her reluctant mother (me).

I’m not going to lie, a part of me likes it too- the sweet warmth from her tiny little body. Then the other part of me (the part that got her boob elbowed five times and her hair pulled twice) just wishes the kid could sleep through the night.

Initially I tried to go back to sleep while I felt her wiggle and grunt next to me. But before I knew it my brain had begun to roil around in my head playing out all kinds of scenarios about life. What I had and hadn’t done, what I wanted to do, what I needed to do.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one pondering life because within the darkness I heard a little voice next to me say, “Mommy, did you know that I’ve never been on a roller coaster ride?” I giggled and made a mental note to take her sooner than later, but refused to fall prey to the conversation that would surely open the door to more sleeplessness.

I eventually put her back to bed, but I had given up any hope that I would ever go back to sleep.

Since going back to work after my surgery, I’ve gotten sucked back into my routine of all work and no play. I had a lot of catching up to do upon my arrival. When I’m not working, I spend my weekends preparing for the next week ahead.

There is no such thing as sleeping in at my house so I usually spend Saturday mornings meal planning and spilling coffee on my planner, while Penelope plays with legos.

After grocery shopping in my pajamas Penelope and I will then usually spend the rest of the morning making home made snacks for the family.


Brent is in paramedic school now which means he doesn’t work on shift anymore. This also means I have a hungry man in my house at all times. Since packaged foods advertised as unprocessed packaged foods are so expensive I make my own. Here’s what is typically on my weekend repertoire…

1. Chewy No-Bake Cinnamon Cranberry Granola Bars


Technically, I was only successful making these once. The other two times it wouldn’t stick together. But boy, that one time was tasty enough to make me keep trying until I get it right again.

2. No Bake Energy Bites


This is Brent’s favorite post-workout snack. It’s also his favorite post-study, post-shower and post-watched-some-TV snack as well.

3. Baked Chicken Breast


I’ve been roasting up a couple of pounds of chicken every weekend as well. I’ll use it throughout the week in dinners that require cooked chicken, salads for lunch and it also serves as another man snack for Brent who lives off of meat, and meat, and no bake energy bites.

4. Healthy Banana Bread or other muffins.


I always make a batch of healthy muffins for an easy snack or breakfast for the girls during the week as well. We switch it up every week and use the heart shaped muffin tins that Penelope insisted we buy.

Despite the fact that I’ve been working hard at eating clean I’ve still gained a few pounds in the last month. I’m hoping that it is mostly just me building my leg muscles back up from after my surgery. I didn’t gain a ton of weight post surgery like I was afraid I would but I lost so much muscle mass my legs don’t even look like they belong to me anymore.

My first full week back to work I was scheduled to go to Outdoor Lab which is like a mountain retreat for the sixth graders. This is a right of passage for all of the kids who go to school in my district. I wasn’t cleared to go yet so my Girls on the Run co-coach offered to go for me. This meant I would have to teach her class… P.E.


I actually had a blast that week “teaching” the kids how to play flag football. However, I wasn’t quite prepared for how to navigate the tricky territory of telling middle schoolers what to do with their balls. I winced every time I caught myself saying phrases like, “Okay guys, hold your balls!”

Bridget is a student assistant during the time that I taught gym and would come and visit me every now and then. I’m also pretty sure she came in to scope out a cute boy or two. So in that case, I did what any self respecting mother would do…

I embarrassed her by taking pictures.


“Oh. Em. Gee. Mom… What are you doing?!”


“Ehhhhh… I’m going to act real awkward now.”


“Just kidding. You can’t make things any more awkward for me. I’m in middle school! Nice try though.

While I was teaching gym the other P.E. teacher told me that they had old spin bikes sitting in a closet that nobody uses. Later on that day I was talking with our facility manager about the bikes and asked if we had one in our make shift teacher lounge gym.


The next morning I came in to find that they had joined forces and put one of the bikes in my class room to help me with my recovery! Isn’t that the coolest thing ever?!


The kids think it’s hilarious when I get on it during class discussions. I also thought I could let the kids take turns using it when they need a little brain break. I hop on it during my planning period and check my emails on my iPad on it first thing in the morning.

My limp is almost completely gone now, but I’ve been warned not to over do it for fear of a set back in my recovery. It’s almost been three months since I had my tibial tubercle osteotomy. It’s hard not to be impatient. I’m so ready to be normal again.

I’m Going To Have To Mentally Bitch Slap Myself

Happy Sunday friends!!!

We’ve had a crazy beautiful weekend here in Colorado so instead of sitting inside writing about myself on my stupid laptop I decided to take the time to go outside and play!


We went on our first bike ride since Fall and Bridget took the opportunity to lay outside in the sunshine while she read her book.


In fact, the only reason I’m sitting here talking to you now is because I just got back from a run with Scout and I’m waiting for Penelope to wake up so that I can do my grocery shopping.

This week was crazy busy and I felt like I needed some alone time to just sort out all of the stuff that has been rattling around in my head. After my run I felt much better and was able to jot down a few things that I need to accomplish within the next few days…


I think it’s safe to say that I’m getting my ass kicked at the moment.

I busted my butt this past week trying to balance it all.  I did all of my assignments, I worked for nine hours a day and I even managed to go for a run a few times this week after school.


I ran as fast as I could trying to beat the sun as it slipped behind the mountains. I have a feeling the longer the days get the longer my runs will become. I also managed to carve out some time with Bridget doing what we do best…


Hoard books!

Is it weird that we have a tendency to pick out the same books from the teen section? It’s bad enough that my students love the fact that I’m addicted to Teen Wolf… I‘m just kidding I don’t really watch Teen Wolf. Yes, I do.

Over all, I feel like this week was the best week I’ve had since I’ve started this student teaching adventure. Brent really stepped up his game and made some really yummy healthy dinners for us this week. But then Thursday rolled around and I was really wishing it was Friday so I pretended like it really was Friday and ordered pizza for dinner. I did this during a moment of weakness. To be honest I was just really feeling sorry for myself for having worked so hard.

After eating the pizza (and drinking the beer that I bought to go with the pizza) a realization hit me. I was totally making excuses for why I should be able to eat like crap.

I’m tired.

I’ve worked so hard.

I just want to relax.

I’ve been responsible in all other aspects of my life, I deserve a chance to let loose.

Well guess what else is going to be let loose this May when my student teaching stint is over?

My thighs that’s what!

The weather is going to be deliciously warm and I’m going to want to go for a run in shorts so that I get can a tan on my pasty gams while I run in the sun. Only I’ll end up with a half wedgie sunburn line because my thighs are going to devour my shorts. Then I’ll hobble home with chapped thighs leaving a trail of traumatized people behind me on the running trail.

Don’t spend too much time trying to visualize the picture I just painted for you because it’s not pretty.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that for the next 13 weeks I’m just going to have to suck it up and do my best. My true best… not the fake best I try to sell to myself when I don’t really want to apply the self-discipline it takes to actually meet goals.

This means I’m going to have to mentally bitch slap myself every time I try to justify what I know is wrong.

Here is a list of things I’m going to have to force myself to do in order to reach my goals:

  1. Eat lots of veggies.
  2. Drink lots of water. (Even if I’m not allowed to have a key to the big people bathroom at school.)
  3. Limit sugar intake.
  4. Only have one alcoholic beverage a week.
  5. Get over my mommy guilt and work out!

My goal is to weigh somewhere in the 170’s by the time I’m done with my student teaching simply because I’ve been stuck in the 180’s for WAY too long.

Weighing in the 180’s wouldn’t be a problem if I were healthy in that weight range but the truth is that I’m not. In fact, I’ve avoided going to the doctor because they are going to want me to test my cholesterol again. Last time I had it checked my levels were high and I don’t want to have to go back in and be put on cholesterol meds. The other goal will be to make a doctor appointment for the beginning of May in order to face the truth and see where I stand on all of that stuff. Hopefully all of my hard work will have paid off by then.

So I guess, this is the part where I tell you how much I weigh. Honestly I keep forgetting to weigh myself. So once again I missed out on the golden post morning pee weigh-in opportunity and had to run up stairs to weigh in for you guys again. I weighed 189.4. This is less than last week but still not where it needs to be. I’m also going to have to take monthly pictures next weekend. Honestly, I’m not really looking forward to it. Since I haven’t been lifting weights everything has gotten fluffier again. But this blog is about being brutally honest with myself so… brace yourself.

And with that I will leave you with two recipes that I plan on making this week…

The first one is Creamy Cauliflower Garlic Rice, which I plan on making tonight with grilled chicken and roasted asparagus.


Doesn’t it look yummy?!

I was also in a French peasant kind of mood so I think I’ll make this split pea soup recipe from Ina Garten.

Parker's Split Pea Soup

I’m waiting for the cold weather to creep up again so that I can sit by the fire with my weekly glass of merlot, slopping up the last bits of this soup with a crusty piece of whole grain bread. Bridget and I will probably practice our French accents that night and Brent will rolls his eyes and pretend like he didn’t marry such a big dork.

Welp folks… I hear Penelope chirping in her crib. So I better head for the store…


Hope you have a great week!

“Oh fork!”

WARNING: The following post has not been edited, so if you find typos just know that I know… well, I don’t know yet. But I will find out soon enough and it will eventually bug me bad enough that I will inevitably have to correct it. 

Okay folks, I’ve gotta keep this short because technically I’m supposed to be in bed right now resting up for my big day tomorrow.

I weighed in for the first time after holidays and the scale said 190.2… wah, wah, wahhhh. (That’s not a baby crying but the noise you hear on tv shows when things don’t turn out right.) Honestly, I wasn’t surprised, I could tell there was a little more lovin’ in the love handle area lately.

Plus, it doesn’t really matter because I’m about to embark on a 16 week journey of pure self discipline. Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching which lasts… (you guessed it!) 16 weeks. New habits are going to have to be formed anyway in order to make this time go smoothly so I thought I might as well tighten up on my healthy habits while I’m at it.

Today was a cold snowy day but I only lingered in my jammies drinking coffee long enough to plan out my meals and workouts for the week.


It wasn’t quite as relaxing as it looks because Sesame street was blaring on the computer and Penelope was in her high chair screaming, “Oh fork!” Only fork sounds like F**k when she says it… (Don’t even ask her to say fox because you will get the same word choice.)

I made the mistake of planning, shopping and prepping in the same day. Then I realized that I needed to pack everything for Penelope’s day out, my day out and write a blog post about all of the prepping I did. Oh Fork!

But for real, I did the prepping this time…


Oh man, look at the time! I better hurry up…

Workout Schedule:

Monday– off

Tuesday- 4 a.m. yoga (found a “class” on hulu)

Wednesday- off

Thursday- 4 a.m. gym time: 3 x 5 back squat, 15 min treadmill sprints, elliptical 30 min.

Friday- 4 a.m. gym time: 3 x 5 push press, 2 mile jog

Saturday- Plan A: Outdoor run if the weather permits Plan B: afternoon gym time: 3 x 5 deadlift, 20 min HIIT cardio, elliptical 30 min

Sunday- off

Planned Meals:

(To help save money I’ve decided to go meatless the days that Brent is at the fire station.)

Monday- Harvest wild rice skillet

Tuesday- Butternut squash and spinach lasagna rolls

Wednesday- Brent’s night to cook

Thursday- meal from the freezer (Bridget has swim and guitar so it’s a super busy night)

Friday- Date night dinner (Yay!)

Saturday- Italian Chicken (You should click on the link it looks way more delicious than it sounds.)

Prep Work:

Shred brussels sprouts for lunch salads

peel and chop butternut squash

 cook wild rice

make butternut squash sauce

assemble lasagna rolls

wash, chop and massage kale for lunch salads… (yes, I said massage it.)

Sheesh! Look at the time, I could have stayed up to watch the Downton Abbey premiere after all.

So, I’m still figuring out how I’m going to fit this blogging business into this crazy life. My plan is to have my weigh-in posts on Sundays along with my meal plans and workout schedules. Ideally I would like to post this early in the morning just in case you needed a little motivation in the meal planning department. But I’m still working on the whole organization thing so bear with me, m’kay?

Hope you guys had a great weekend! Wish me luck for tomorrow as I walk into middle school for the first time all over again… yikes!