Hallucinating About Gorillas

sore muscles

I have to tell you, there is nothing more delightful than waking up to creaky sore muscles first thing in the morning. (I’m not even being snarky and sarcastic.) It just makes that first morning stretch Oh. So. Delicious.

Brent ran me through a workout yesterday that made my heart beat reverberate through my ears. At one point I wasn’t sure I was ever going to catch my breath. It was awesome.

It was basically a million back squats at varying weights working on form and spending the last fifteen minutes doing as many rounds possible of 250 meter rows and pushing a weighted prowler across the gym and back. Even though it kicked my butt it wasn’t really sexy enough for it’s own blog post. Plus, Brent wouldn’t take pictures for me. He’s a butt head about that sometimes.

It was all for the better, though, because I was so beat for the rest of the day. When I got home I was going to use nap time to write a fascinating blog post for you all but I sat down and got caught up in a really good book instead.

It’s the kind of book that sneaks inside your chest, pulls back a few layers of your heart, snuggles inside and then shoots confetti through your veins. I guess you could say I liked it.

It’s called Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell.


They say you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover but that is precisely what I do. I’ll scour book stores looking for particularly attractive books that catch my fancy and then place them on hold at the library. Library holds make me so happy. It’s like finding a twenty dollar bill in your coat pocket that you had forgotten about the previous winter. As soon as I started this book I got sucked in and all writing projects were put on hold. Plus, it pairs perfectly with a chocolate zucchini muffin and iced coffee. But then again, what book doesn’t?

I’ve been on a whole baking crusade since my zucchini plants have been producing crazy amounts of produce. I’ll check the plant one night see a few small zucchini, then check the next morning and they’re longer than my arm.


I keep baking and cooking thinking I’ll catch up with the piles of zucchini on my counter only to find a whole new crop the next day.


It’s a losing battle, so Bridget and I made it a game of “Ding Dong Ditch”. We’ll go to a friend’s house, leave a massive zucchini on their porch (and maybe a few muffins), ring the door bell and run like hell giggling the whole way. If this happened to you then that was my love letter to you. You’re welcome.

We’ve all been a little delirious around here because Penelope still isn’t sleeping well. We’ve all handled it different ways.

Bridget has read through the entire series of Harry Potter (again) waiting for school to start…


Brent has taken to drinking and biking…


(He was very proud of his engineering capabilities.)

I gardened and cried… I cry when I’m tired. We’ve established this already.

green enchiladas

I also eat… Hence, the weight loss blog. (Duh.)

Luckily, thanks to my garden, I have a lot of fresh stuff on hand that I feel obligated to use up before it goes bad. My pepper plant no longer looks obscene since it has grown a few more peppers on it. I planted a pepper mix so I have no idea what kind of peppers I’m actually growing. I’m pretty sure they are seranno peppers so I found a recipe to use these suckers up along with an excuse to experiment with tomatillos. I made enchilada suizas and it was delicious! You should check out the link.

Now that I no longer have a book to obsess over and I have completed my obligatory blog post I’m going to take a nap while Penelope is still taking her’s. I’ve gotta catch up on this sleep or I’m going to start hallucinating about gorillas. It happened to a guy once… I read about it in a psychology course.

Hot Spots


When Brent and I decided that I should become a stay-at-home mom after I had Penelope I immediately started to envision a lifestyle where I had time to clean my house, take my kids to the library, do the laundry and cook dinner all while wearing a serene smile on my face because life was just… SO. GOOD.

I was working at the time and during my lunch break I would see other moms saunter into Target wearing cute little casual chic outfits with their children teetering closely behind in clean coordinating outfits. I wanted that….Oh, how I wanted that.

Then I stayed home, and that’s not really how it worked out. Maybe I’m defective but that’s not what it’s like as a stay-at-home mom. I mean there are fleeting moments that may appear that way to the untrained eye but that isn’t the reality at all.

I only have one thing to say to Betty Crocker who started this unrealistic image… Screw you! How dare you glorify an impossible job. That image is about as artificial as your preserved snack cakes!

Oh wait, that’s Little Debbie…It doesn’t matter I’m on a tangent damn it!

When Brent came home from his wildland fire deployment I knew he would need a few days to rest so I continued to take care of everything on the home front.

He had spent so much time out on that fire that he had to readjust to being home again. One night I woke up to something patting my boob. I knew it was Brent touching my boob but I knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was just an absent patting and an awkward squeeze here and there. To which I responded with a, “What are you doing?”

“What? Oh… nothing,” He rolled over and continued to sleep.

When I asked him about it the next morning he said that he was dreaming that he was looking for hot spots. He found a hot spot alright but it wasn’t the same kind he was referring to in his head. He was looking for an actual fire and instead of touching crunchy pine needles he found something soft and squishy. After he told me that I laughed until I cried…

Then one afternoon I caught him vacuuming the basement that I had just vaccumed and I asked him what he was doing…

“I’m doing what you should have been doing for the past two weeks.”

Excuse me?!

He knew he was in trouble the moment it came out of his mouth and he did that typical man move where he pretends like he didn’t actually say that and tried to act sweet from that moment on. Unfortunately he had found another hot spot… my temper.

At that moment his welcoming committee packed up and closed shop. Brent had been off of work for ten days so in my head he had plenty of R&R. I could feel the resentment building up as he lounged on the couch watching TV with his feet propped up as I continued to do all that I had to do while he was gone. Being the smart man that he is he picked up on that resentment and before heading back to work tomorrow he gave me some time off.

I spent the afternoon gossiping with my friend and getting that way over due haircut…


When I came home he had folded his laundry and had plans to cook dinner for the family.


While he cooked dinner I took pictures of Penelope getting into everything in the kitchen. I tried to step back and give him the full experience of cooking dinner while simultaneously watching a toddler. You know, just so he could see what it was like for me while he was gone and I should have been vacuuming the basement…


I’m not gonna lie it was kind of awesome.

Just that gesture of stepping into my shoes for just one moment washed away all of that resentment. It had solidified that I married the right man and I was officially not mad at him anymore. Since he’s going back to his regular work schedule, tomorrow will officially be the first day of normal.

Normal is such a boring adjective but it’s something that I’ve been craving for a while all the same.

I plan on waking up early with Brent before he goes to work and doing the blogger challenge workout from Fit Women’s Weekly before Penelope wakes up. Taylor contacted me and gave me access to her program for the next 6 weeks in order to give her feedback.

When you have access you are given a choice of several workouts. Once you click on it you can watch a quick run through video of the workout or you can watch another video of her completing the whole workout. Since I can’t grant you access to the videos I’ve done my best to describe the workout that I will be completing tomorrow. Just in case you wanted to join in the fun 😉


(a tabata workout)

Workout Overview:

20 seconds of full out intensity, with a 10 second rest before completing again. You’ll go back and forth between 2 exercises for a total of 8 rounds (4 sets of each exercise).  Once you’ve completed 8 rounds you move on to the next pair still only resting 10 seconds in between.

Keep track of your sets because IF YOU DON’T get the same or higher than the previous round, you’ll be penalized with 2 burpees to be added to the end for EACH time.

 Pair 1:

Push-ups and Butt Kicks

Butt kicks are jogging in place while simultaneously kicking your own butt and I’ll be doing my push-ups from my knees because I have such a weak core.

Pair 2:

Side Jumps and Flutter Kicks

Side jumps you jump side to side (duh). Flutter kicks you lay on your back put your hands under your butt and quickly flutter your feet while keeping your legs straight.

Pair 3:

Incline Thrusters and Goblet Squats

With incline thrusters you bend over, put your hands on the ground in front of you, keep them there and jump your feet toward your hands and back again. These goblet squats don’t have any weight. It’s basically a deep air squat but only go deep if you can maintain good form.

Pair 4:

Box Hops and Up-downs

I don’t have a box at home so I’m just going to jump forward and backward. Up-downs are done in a plank position. You start off on your hands and walk down to your elbows and back up to your hands again… over and over.

When I’m done I’ll post my reps to the comments section of this post so you can see how I did. I was planning on posting these workouts three times a week but describing the workout took so much time and I would rather use that time musing over pop tarts and poopie diapers. (Can’t have this cramping my style.) Therefore, I’ve decided to just post one workout each Monday. If you are in the mood for a little friendly competition you can do the workout too. Do it anytime during the week and post your results in the comments section of  the Monday post. It should be fun!

Week 28 Weigh-in

Things have been off kilter for quite a while but are just now getting back to normal so I should start making progress again. On Wednesday I finally did a crossfit workout. I can’t even remember the last time I did one. It was before vacation, my brother-in-law’s visit, my cousin’s visit and before Brent’s wildland deployment. (It’s been a crazy summer.)

I was nervous because I was pretty sure I was going to suck at it. I even took a little pre-workout supplement to help out.


I don’t usually do supplements because I think they taste gross but I knew Brent was going to kick my butt so I gave it a shot anyway. I took BLOX silk amino acid supplement which is supposed help you exercise longer, perform better and recover faster. I chugged down the fruit punch flavored drink on the way to the gym and it actually tasted pretty good.

I was coaxed into taking it because I was told that silk amino acids are good for people who are dieting and trying to lose weight without losing their muscle mass. It’s hard to lose a significant amount of weight without losing muscle mass along with it. That’s one of the reasons your metabolism slows down when you lose weight. However, if you can burn the fat without losing your muscle mass then your metabolism will be humming. You’ll become a fat burning machine…  that’s the goal.

I do have to say I felt surprisingly good during our workout but it’s hard to tell if the supplements worked or not. I kind of felt like a preschooler who was just given a new pair of iron man shoes… with velcro. If you aren’t familiar with the preschool world this means you are now officially SUPER fast and you have to run with authority on the play ground. That is precisely what I did during this workout.

A Quadtastic WOD

Part 1: Box Squats

5 x 10 at a fairly heavy working weight

(our working weight was 93 lbs)

Stack weights on a box until your legs just break parallel with the ground.  Keep tension as you lower down to sit on the box. Don’t bounce off of the box but sit for a second then stand as fast as you can with proper form. (note: you won’t be able to do as much weight as you normally would because you are working on your technique.)


Part 2

Sled Pulls (legs) x 3

Load up the sled at a heavy weight (we had 2 45 lb plates) sit down into your heels, straighten your arms and pull the sled backward as fast as you can to the other side of the gym.


Then turn it around, grip it behind you and sprint back.


Sled pulls (arms) x 3

Take a little weight off, sit down in it again but pull the weight toward your body rowing style only using your arms.


(It’s a little fuzzy but you get the point.)

Once again you sprint back pulling the sled behind you.

super fast

I’m obviously the fastest kid on the playground 😉

Part 3: AMRAP

(as many rounds as possible)

12 minutes

400 meter row

15 russian kettlebell swings

10 box jumps

I felt so good after this workout I woke up super early the next morning for a sunrise run.

sunrise run

Shortly after is when the quads started crying.

Later that night Brent and I went on our first date in a long time. We went to Jake’s Brew Bar and drank too many weird beers. One tasted like the incense you smell burning at shops that sell Bob Marley posters and another one tasted like balsamic vinegar… straight up vinegar.

We also sat at a big table lunch room style and made friends with a guy named Robert. After we left the bar to eat dinner we got into an argument over who Robert was attracted to most.

Brent-“He was staring at you to over compensate for wanting to stare at me.”

In other words, we had fun. A little too much fun because now I have a headache. Beer before weigh-in is never a good idea so I’ve put off stepping on the scale. In fact I’m going to have to take a little break to do it. Hang on…

I weighed in at 191.4… it could have been worse but I need to get out of the 190’s we’ve been hanging out there for way too long.

I’ve been issued a challenge from another blogger who does boot camps and develops clean recipes for her clients. It starts on Monday and lasts for 6 weeks… I think I’m going to have to take her up on it.

There’s nothing to boost your motivation like a good old fashioned challenge. You’re supposed to be able to do the workouts at home mainly using body weight so you guys can join me in the challenge if you are up for a little friendly competition. There will be three workouts a week and I’m supposed to try two clean recipes per week as well. I’ll post the workout and my time/reps and you guys can do the same in the comments section. I’ll also post the recipes if I find them especially delightful. It should be fun!

Now it’s time to get back into weight loss mode… who’s with me?! This is where you do the slow clap until we’re all pumped up. The only problem is that it doesn’t really work when you’re by yourself. So you can just go ahead and do that in your head.

Lungs on Fire

I was mean to a bunny today. This bunny to be exact…


 And now I feel like a jerk.

It all started when I walked outside to admire my flowers in the yard and noticed that Mr. Cute Fuzzy Pants decided to go ahead and make a meal out of my daylilies.


Big mistake buddy… big mistake.

I pulled out the big guns and got to work spraying liquid fence and sprinkling Uncle Ian’s Repellent all over the place.

IMG_1928       IMG_1929

Let me give you some advice if you plan on using either of these products. Make sure it’s not windy outside. The Liquid Fence smells like all kinds of bodily fluids that one should never have to smell and Uncle Ian’s is comprised of a mixture of things but is most predominantly made of cayenne pepper.

How do I know?


I decided to get down low and pick some weeds right after sprinkling it, just in time for a big gust of wind to blow it right in my face. I spent the next ten minutes gag/coughing and sneezing my brain out.

Why couldn’t the bunny just eat the stupid weeds instead of my prized flowers? Then I could skip the mean peppery tactics and he could enjoy a delicious meal while I avoided a horrific dose of karma.

After I got done sprinkling that crap all over the flowers I had made my way over to the strawberries to make sure they were safe too. That’s when I found this… (cue the dramatic soap opera music).


What… you don’t see anything? Well that’s because Scout dug up my strawberry plant the little asshole. He knew he was in trouble when I called his name…


“Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact…”

I was SO mad at him but he’s just so stinkin’ cute that I had the hardest time not snuggling with him. I would forget and give him kisses and then remember and glare at him. He probably thinks I’m pregnant again, poor guy.

My gardening disasters weren’t quite over yet. Shortly after I discovered the shredded strawberries the gate door broke off…. just snapped.


Now poor Scout doesn’t have any privacy…


(FYI: I didn’t plan on taking a picture of him pooping in the yard he just happened to plan it perfectly.)

Despite the gardening fiascos I still had a good day because I got to do another crossfit workout. This is only my second one since I threw my back out. My lungs are still burning but I don’t know if it’s from the bunny pepper or the workout.

Here’s what we did…


(workout of the day)


The lift of the day was the Press. We warmed up adding weight until we found a decently heavy weight in order to do three sets of five.


We did a few more reps with kettle bells dangling off of the bar using resistance bans.


(My grip was off so I got a little crooked on this one.)

Then he had us take all of the weights off and do as many reps as possible using only the bar until failure for three rounds resting 20 seconds in between. This KILLED my arms!


(short intense workout)

We had to do five sprint rounds of Farmer’s Carries using the wide grip things that wrap about the dumb bells…


Battling Ropes (10 per arm)


 Prowler Pushes down…


…and back.


My fastest time was 39 seconds. Brent made fun of me when I asked him why we weren’t doing the prowler pushes with weight. This was supposed to be done as fast as possible and after 5 rounds I was glad there wasn’t any weight on it. Like I said, my lungs were-a-burning.

This workout was also kind of a big deal because it was the first time that I worked out in a tank top without looking like a can of biscuits that had exploded every where. I’ve only tried this once before and it wasn’t pretty. Since I’m all about self-deprecation I invite you to look back and compare by clicking here… you’re welcome 😉

Truffle My Shuffle

Today I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and that annoying woodpecker pecking away at another metal object. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?

I didn’t really mind because the sun was just rising and it was absolutely beautiful outside. Once I went downstairs I realized that I had run out of dish detergent so I made an early morning trip to the store. When I turned the corner off of my street I saw 5 hot air balloons floating in the air.


I always think of hot air balloons as a sign of good things to come.

The combination of the weather and the hot air balloons got me all giddy and I could feel the excitement bubbling up for summer.


I’m so excited for long morning runs, days by the pool, hiking in the foothills, outdoor concerts, farmer’s markets, outdoor movie screenings, cookouts, suntan lotions that smell like coconut, watermelons (spiked with vodka), backyard campouts, playing in the sprinklers, the scent of cotton wood trees, roasted marshmallows, flip-flop tan lines… I could keep going but I won’t.

I’ve got this rejuvenated feeling now that the weather has miraculously turned warm. It has also lit a fire under my butt as far as motivation is concerned. It’s almost bathingsuit time! So I met up with my friend Corene at Crossfit Bodywerx to do some werk on this physique.

Brent ran us through an awesome workout that had my arms shaking and my mouth grinning by the end of it. It was pretty fun actually.

Here it is… I couldn’t think of a clever name so we’ll just skip that part.


Toy Soldiers and Spiderman Lunges


We worked on our Snatch lifting technique…


 “Hey look at my snatch!”

Haha… I crack myself up! That joke never gets old… or maybe it does and I just don’t care.

We also worked on our Clean lifting technique


I had to get serious and keep a straight face… lifting is important business folks and you’re only doing it right if you have a mega double chin. (I tell myself these things.)

After we finished that Brent decided to work on our grip so that we can progressively get better with olympic lifting. So he put wide grips on the weights and had us do hammer curls and barbel curls to failure three times each.


The wide grip makes it SO much harder.

After we did that little doozy we did a short metcon workout. I didn’t really know what a metcon was until I googled it. All I knew was that Brent uses the term all of the time. FYI, it just means a short intense circuit style workout.

He set up three cones across the gym. He placed a fairly heavy kettlebell at the center cone and that was where we started. We had to sprint to the cone on the left then all the way to the cone of the far right, then back to the center cone where we had to do 10 russian kettlebell swings as fast as we could.


My fastest time was 19.5 seconds. I felt pretty awesome. Brent couldn’t get a picture of the actual sprinting because I only had my phone camera with me and it was too slow. But Mark the owner of Crossfit Bodywerx took one and it looked something like this…

Chunk Truffle Shuffle

Fat isn’t supposed to move that fast apparently. But I wasn’t heart broken to have a bad picture taken because after all, I did get a good shot of my snatch… (Haha! There it is again, I’m killing myself!)

Ahem… anyhoo.

I came home and made a yummy post workout meal.


Grilled chicken salad with yogurt ranch and sweet potato fries.

Penelope is asleep and instead of cleaning my house I plan on putting on my bathing suit to lay out for a while. I’ll show my neighbors just how truffle my shuffle really is.

But one thing is for certain I will NOT be tanning my backside in this chair…yogatan

I’m gonna have to do a little more yoga before I try to pull that one off.