If you’ve been reading long enough you know that I have a flair for the dramatic.

I was super bummed on Friday when I gained weight instead of losing it. I’ve fluctuated several times but this time was a big deal because I was SO close to getting out of the 200 weight zone.

I don’t want to weigh more than 200 pounds any more… it hurts my feelings.

Over the weekend I trudged on per usual. Then this morning I stepped on the scale again just to check to see if the damage had gone away yet. That’s when I saw that I weighed 203.

I came downstairs wearing my frowny face. Brent asked me what was wrong and I cried. Brent pointed out how stupid I was being. He reminded me that I shouldn’t let the scale dictate how I felt about myself. He was right, and the fact that he was right made me even angrier.

Why did he have to be right? I just wanted to be mad and feel sorry for myself for a minute.

“Besides, you’re probably about to start your period or something. That makes you retain water weight, right? You can’t rely on the scale.”

*Note: If you are a man and your wife/girlfriend/daughter is acting crazy never tell her she’s about to start her period… even if she is about to start her period.

Brent doesn’t sugar coat anything. I’ve always weighed more than the average woman. He always points out that I’m just a big woman… as you can imagine this never really goes over so well.

But once again he’s right. I’m a big Scandinavian woman… I’ve got some crazy viking blood running through my veins and I was never meant to be a waif. I will never be able to feint weakness because I was made to throw cows over my shoulder and drop kick people who piss me off.

I would have never made it as a princess.

I’ve always been this way. Back in highschool when I played competitive soccer the boys called me “haus” because I was stronger than they were. (This was early in highschool when puberty wasn’t an equal opportunity event). They had little chicken legs and I had muscular legs.

I didn’t want to have bigger legs than the boys!

I was so embarrassed and I thought they were making fun of me when they called me “haus”. I would be in the weight room and my coach would tell me to lift more and I wouldn’t for fear of getting even stronger. I thought that meant I would blow up and look like a man.

roid rage

What I didn’t know was that this look is impossible achieve without the use of steroids… or a penis.

I had no idea that being strong could be so beautiful until I started crossfit.


In this new world I found that being called a “beast” was actually a good thing.


I learned to quit fighting my natural inclination for strength and instead to embrace it.

So that is why I should feel really stupid for getting pouty over a number on the scale. It really doesn’t matter.

When I first started this journey I couldn’t stand the way I felt in my own skin. That icky feeling of wearing layers of fat that didn’t belong to me prompted me to take action.

These days I’m walking around the house in my booty shorts and flexing my muscles every time I walk past a mirror. When I move I feel strong and capable. There isn’t anything that I’m afraid to do in the gym.

If I had no idea how much I weighed then I would feel really freaking awesome. Unfortunately, that ignorant insecure fifteen year old girl still resides in me and every now and then she pops up and freaks out when she sees an arbitrary number on the scale.

After Brent and I had our little discussion he reminded me of how strong I am and how strong I am capable of being. I went to the gym and did my thing and felt better instantly.

By the way, while writing this blog post I looked up the definition for “haus” and I found the following…


     1) Something supremely awesome.

     2) A term given to a person who is amazing in all aspects of life.

     3) To be ridiculously good at something. 

Synonym: beast

Why didn’t I know about this earlier?!

P.S. After promising myself I would only use the scale for official weigh-ins I took one last peek and weighed in at 200.8… water weight is such a bitch.

Week 12 Weigh-in

WARNING: This contains a weigh-in, an awesome recipe and a kick ass workout all squeezed into one post. You may not be able to handle this much awesomeness.

I’ve been gone for two days and it has been driving me nuts because I had so much to share with you! I was supposed to post everything I ate to prove my dedication to this ridiculous no cheese, no fruit, no carbs thing. It about killed me. But I couldn’t because I didn’t have any internet connection.

I got a little too excited about my whole gardening obsession because I cut my cable line while I was digging a trench to insert a border around my garden area. Apparently, I’m really good with a hoe.

My smart phone isn’t all that smart and my laptop is in disrepair after Bridget stepped on it. So, that left me with nothing better to do than take a day off…

Yesterday, Brent took over all parental duties and I got to get a mani/pedi, go for a long run and read fitness magazines at Barnes and Noble… in peace. I opted for green tea instead of a mocha aren’t you proud?

mom's day off

P.S. I want to look like that chick who’s flexing next to my perfectly manicured thumb.

Brent and I had a talk after my tri-monthly meltdown and decided that I need to have a day off once a month. (I think he may have been afraid of a Bobbitt incident happening if I didn’t get some space.) I never take time for myself so having a designated time makes sure that I have some me time scheduled in. This is a must have for mommies and sometimes we forget that… and by “we” I mean “me”.

Even though I couldn’t post what I ate during the last two days of the strictest portion of the challenge I still took pictures for proof. So here is a hodge podge of what I ate during that time…

IMG_1224 IMG_1345 IMG_1363 IMG_1366 IMG_1368 IMG_1369

I also basically snacked on carrots and hummus, nuts, ham and pickles. I’m so glad this portion of the challenge is over!

I need some strawberries in my belly now!

However, there is one recipe that I would chow down on challenge or not. It’s one of Kellfire’s recipes and it is called…

Chicken Cali-Rice Stir Fry 


1 med head white cauliflower

1/2 lean ground chicken breast

1 TB toasted sesame oil

2 cloves garlic, minced (I used 4)

1 TB fresh ginger, grated

3 green onions, sliced (added an extra two as a topping)

1 cup broccoli slaw

2 TB low sodium soy sauce (I’m pretty sure I used more of this too)

Crushed red pepper flakes *optional

(I sprinkled some sesame seeds to make it look pretty)


  1. Prepare cauliflower according to instructions below.
  2. In a medium skillet, brown the ground chicken over medium heat until no longer pink. Remove the chicken from the skillet, drain and set aside.
  3. Heat sesame oil in the skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic, ginger and green onions; stir fry for 2 minutes.
  4. Add the broccoli slaw; stir fry for 2 minutes.
  5. Add cauliflower rice and soy sauce; stir fry for 2 more minutes.
  6. Return the cooked ground chicken to the skillet with the rice and vegetable mixture and season with red pepper flakes, to taste.
  7. Stir until ingredients are well combined and heated through, about 2 minutes.
  8. Divide into 2 portions and serve.

Cauliflower Rice Instructions:

  • Cut stem off cauliflower and discard
  • Pulse cauliflower heads in a food processor until the size of rice
  • Microwave for 4-5 minutes on high. **Do not add water

Doesn’t it look yummy?!

 chicken cali stir fry

I LOVE this meal!

So not only does my husband take over kiddo duties but he’s also my personal trainer… could I have chosen any wiser! He’s a stud, I actually have a really big crush on him today… this doesn’t occur everyday. If you’ve ever been married you know what I’m talking about 😉

Right! The workout.

It was all over the place. He was just pulling tricks out of know where so we’ll call it…

The Wacky WOD

Part 1

3 rounds

10 goblet squats and planks until failure


Goblet squats are done holding a kettle bell.


Ah yeah! There’s that squatting picture I love so much… you’re welcome.

Part 2

5 rounds

10 ab rollers and 20 lunges


Amanda is better at the ab roller than I am.


Heyyy, check out my lulu’s! They’re magical. Do you see how my legs are skinny but nothing else is? It’s the pants, I’m telling you.

Part 3

3 rounds

15 banded kettle bell swings


This one was tough! You have no choice but to go fast and there is no controlling belly fat when you go that fast.

Part 4

5 rounds per person

20 seconds of banded prowler pushes

There is a band wrapped around your waist and you push a weighted prowler as far out as you can to your partner. You’re partner then pushes it back to you as fast as they can. You go back and forth until the 20 seconds is up then you switch until you’ve completed it 5 times.


Do you see Amanda ricocheting backward? After a while the bands pinched so we wore weight belts and attached the bands to our waists that way.

Part 5

 5 minutes of squatting down with a medicine ball then hurling it forward to your partner and leaping forward.



Part 6

10 minutes of taking turns rolling backward onto your back with the medicine ball then hurling your body forward to throw the ball across the gym. Then you  have to get up as fast as possible and sprint after the ball beating it to the end of the gym.



The pictures are fuzzy because we are so fast…. actually Brent messed up the setting of the computer but it’s okay because it made us look so fast.

The end.

Whoa… don’t you want to know how my weigh-in went? I told you this blog had too much awesomeness for you to handle.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 202.4

This is great because I have never gone below 203 since having Penelope. Plus, I pigged out over the weekend so I managed to reach this milestone in just four days.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the progress I’ve made so far. I feel like I have wasted a lot of time. Any progress is good progress but I’m turning this transformation into a slow painful process. I haven’t really made much progress since Valentine’s Day (today excluded).

I’ve come to realize that any goal worth having is worth sacrificing for. It’s not easy and I get really pissed off about it sometimes. But it’s all worth it when I see what happens when I persist and push myself.

Week 11 Weigh-in and the Ten Week Challenge


It’s weigh-in day!

I’m super excited, not because my number will be good but because summer is coming and I’ve got a plan.

This week sucked quite frankly. The flu ran rampant in my house and although I was the only one who didn’t get sick the sleep situation was awful. My eyes are still red and puffy from lack of sleep.

I drank a ton of coffee throughout the week which means I drank a ton of cream and sugar too. Oh and alcohol… you can bet that momma was guzzling some wine in the evenings after having her hair pulled out by a sick grumpy baby all day long.

My personal trainer (aka my hubby) was sick all week too so I didn’t workout the way I would have liked. I fit in maybe two runs the entire week. The jury is still out on whether you can consider hoeing your garden as a workout. My sore arms say yes.

So when I stepped on the scale I was not surprised to find that I weighed in at 205.

I looked at the calendar today and it has struck me that I only have 10 weeks left until Bridget is out of school for summer break!

This means I only have 10 weeks to make some major progress before swim suit season!


Over the past few weeks my dedication level has tapered off. I think this is because I’m getting comfortable in my skin again. I no longer feel like Fat Bastard…


But I’m still a long shot from being the hottie that God intended for me to be. I have a feeling that God really wants me to be hot and I’m just letting Him down by settling comfortably in my fat suit.

Do you remember my friend Kellfire? Well, I consider her to be my nutrition coach. If I do what she tells me to do then I’m destined to be super successful. The problem is that her method actually requires dedication… and I’ve got commitment issues.

sexy kelly

Seriously though,  you don’t get to where you look like this by eating hotdogs. Am I right?

If I had done what Kelly had told me to do when she told me to do it I would totally be a hottie right now. Unfortunatley, I’m kind of a brat and I didn’t want to give up my goodies. I’ve been able to eat what I want and still lose weight and although any progress is good progress I’ve really come to the point where I need to quit juggling back and forth.

I started out with one cheat day on Fridays and the rest of the time I ate great. Then my cheat day started to creep into Saturdays and then Sundays too. I’ve gotten to where I eat really well for four days and not so much for three days. By doing this I’m totally canceling out all of my efforts.

I know that I can maintain but I’m not to the point where I should. So I need to buckle down and do what I need to do for the next 10 weeks so that I can enjoy my summer in a fit and healthy body.

That’s where the next challenge comes in.

Here are the rules…

The 10 Week Challenge

  • No alcohol
  • No sugary drinks (aka sugar coffee, or soft drinks)
  • No carbs after 4 pm (This includes fruits so I will focus on lean meats, legumes and veggies)
  • One cheat MEAL a week is permitted
  • No whining and crying about not getting what you want.

In the past I tried to do a no sugar challenge and I totally cracked under the pressure. But seriously ya’ll I need to put my big girl panties on and suck it up!

This isn’t going to be easy but it will only last for 10 weeks. If things work out the way I have planned I will only need to lose a little bit of weight during the summer which means I can relax and enjoy myself. I love summer! I don’t want to ruin it by feeling uncomfortable in a bathing suit wishing I had tried harder earlier on.

So who’s with me?

I initially wanted to start today but Brent thinks it’s sacrilegious to swear off alcohol a few days before St. Patrick’s Day. So the official start date is Monday. He said that he would do the challenge too only he should be able to drink two beers a day. What the heck?! That’s not a challenge! We’re still debating on those terms. All I know is that if I succeed at this challenge I win a spa day. If he succeeds he wins a Cardinals dart board for the garage… don’t ask me, that’s what he said he wanted.

I’m so excited! I know that if I actually listen to Kelly I’m going to have a really great summer!

eating shitty

We’ve Got a Gagger!


I don’t know about you, but I think gagging is one of the funniest human reactions known to man. I come from a long line of gaggers and every time I cough I gag a little. This is entirely inconvenient when my husband is around because he makes fun of me and my manly cough/gag. Apparently, Penelope has inherited this lovely reaction from my side of the family.

My sister and dad are also big gaggers but the funniest gagger of all is my nephew Case who is three. He’s really into Spiderman and when he came out to visit last summer I sprayed him with green silly string while he was jumping on the trampoline… you know, to make it look like Spiderman’s web? He stopped jumping immediately and started gagging. I was laughing so hard I could hardly help him get the silly string off.

Every time I sprayed it he gagged… and I laughed.

Then later on in the trip I shared my cupcake with him and he gagged on that. I just couldn’t win with this kid!  I wanted him to think that I was the coolest aunt ever but instead I just kept making him gag.

Well, this week I sent him a little Valentine gift in the mail that had a book, a mini tambourine and some silly putty in it. In the card that I sent I jokingly said that I hoped the silly putty didn’t make him gag…

This morning I got a phone call from my sister who couldn’t stop laughing.

She told me that Case fell asleep in her bed with his daddy… and the silly putty. Somehow the silly putty had made its way into my brother-in-law’s underwear. When he went to get into the shower he heard Case yelling, “DAD! What is that?!”

Shaun just looked at Case like he was just being silly and said, “It’s my bottom.”

“NO! THAT!? It’s disgusting….ugaack…ugaack.”

Shaun had no idea what Case was gagging about until he looked in the mirror and saw that the silly putty was stuck to his butt.

When my sister told me this story I laughed until I cried… I am now 3-0 in making him gag. What the heck is wrong with me?!

Speaking of gagging…

Do you like that smooth transition?

Brent put me through a brutal workout yesterday that kind of made me want to throw up. But since I was working out with two of my friends I had to fight the gagging urge full on because I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

I decided to share it with you… you know, just in case you wanted to gag during a workout too.


(down the gym and back)

Toy soldiers

Spiderman lunges

In between deep spiderman lunges we sat on a racket ball to workout the kinks in our  hips and butt.


5 Deadlifts at 60% of our one rep max.

The only thing I hate about lifting is the math involved. My one rep max was 180 lbs but that was before I got pregnant with Penelope so I didn’t think it applied. Therefore, I just put some weight on and lifted it.

Brent told us to keep adding weight gradually and lifting 5 reps at a time. This was how we were warming up for our one rep max.

Once the weight got to where it was getting pretty heavy we only lifted it once and then kept adding weight until we reached our max. I didn’t add up the weight until I was done and I was shocked to see that I had lifted 213 lbs!


I have no idea how I got so strong in such a short period of time but I felt like Wonder Woman… that is, until it was time to do the rest of the workout.

WOD part 1

5 rounds

10 banded good mornings

banded good mornings

10 straight leg raises

leg raises

I really REALLY suck at these and have to bend my knees half way through…

WOD part 2

(a.k.a. the part that made me want to puke.)

There were three of us working out and in this portion Brent had two of us standing at one end of the gym and one person standing at the other.

We had to do 10 heavy Russian Kettlebell swings and then push a weighted prowler across the gym to the person waiting. Then you got to rest while the other two took their turn. We did this for 12 minutes straight.

russian kettlebell swing

Russian Kettle Bell Swing


Prowler Push

Don’t let the resting portion of this workout fool you! While doing it you don’t feel all that bad but as soon as you stop during your designated rest time you feel like your heart might explode through your chest.

Brent said that he had done that workout the day before and I am glad to report that he wanted to puke too. So that means I’m not a wimp…

The Pee Pee Dance

I’m so confused… after having two not so great weigh-in’s in a row I told myself that I was going to up my calorie intake to what is recommended for my current weight to see if my metabolism has slowed down. I did that for about two days. Then, I got a big slap in the face this weekend when Brent hung up my Lululemon hoodie and turned to me and said, “Are you ready for this?”

For those of you who haven’t read Operation Lululemon, my husband and I have a bet as to whether or not I can zip my jacket up by Valentine’s Day. If I can, then I get to go shopping for more Lululemon attire. If I can’t then he get’s something. I’ve only got two weeks to win this challenge. Now is not the time for science experiments!

What do I do?! I can’t plateau anymore but I don’t want to waste time trying to figure out what is going on. This is so weird because a few months ago I would have jumped at the chance to have an excuse to eat more. But I’m on a roll and don’t want to screw that up. Most importantly, I want to kick my husband’s butt!

Speaking of butt kicking…

I met up with my friend at Crossfit Bodywerx today for a round of “Brent is mad at me for stealing the covers last night so I must suffer”. Take note… if you can help it NEVER let your spouse be your personal trainer. My problem is that my husband is just so blasted good at it that I just can’t help myself.

I tried to get Brent to take pictures while we worked out but he told me he was my trainer not my photographer… Well excuse me Mr. Big Trainer Pants!

Here is the workout and the terrible pictures that he did manage to take…


(The following were done down one end of the gym and back again.)

Toy Soldiers

Spider Lunges

10 air squats

Using a medicine ball as a spotter to help you focus on form

3×5 barbell back squat

Once again going light and focusing on form


Holding the bar hurt Morgan’s shoulder so she did it with a kettlebell behind her back.


(workout of the day)

 Part 1: The Butt

 3 rounds of 20 walking lunges and penguin walks


You look really special while doing this but it KILLS your butt.


Here I am lunging… well, that actually looks more like the pee pee dance. Let’s try that again.


Oh brother, that seriously looked so much better in my head.

This is the point where Brent informed me that he was not the photographer. After looking at the pictures I’m pretty sure he just knew he wasn’t any good at it. But Penelope thought it was rude…


At this point I was too tired to care and we weren’t done by a long shot.

Part 2: The Tummy

Tabata Intervals


flutter kicks

twisting med ball tosses (5 burpees for each time you drop it)

Part 3: The lungs

Three rounds of shuttle runs and 15 russian kettle bell swings

We had to do these as fast as possible. My times were 28 seconds, 25 seconds and 24 seconds.

After that workout I didn’t care how many calories I ate just as long as I got some food in my belly. I’m still a little confused but I’m going to try not to overthink it. If I’m hungry I’ll eat a little more if I’m not I’ll eat a little less. All I know is that I better be able to zip up that hoodie without looking like a ten pound sausage in a five pound casing.