Summer is officially here… I can smell it.

There is a particular tree in Colorado that perfumes the air during the very beginning of summer. I love it so much I try not to plan any trips during the first of June because I don’t want to miss it. It’s not a constant smell but a sweet scent that floats on the breeze and greets you when you least expect it. It’s one of my favorite things about summer. It goes along with the smell of fresh cut grass, coconut scented suntan lotion and charcoal burning on a grill.

This week the season of summer took off in full force making it a very eventful week.

On Tuesday I spent the day at Elitch Gardens with the 8th graders that I had taught this past semester while I completed my student teaching. Before I left I had told the kids that I would come on this particular day and ride rides with them. It had almost been a month since I had seen them and I started to have second thoughts on just showing up at the school, sunblock in hand, ready to crash their end of year party. When I left my class my students seemed genuinely sad to see me go. But I was sure that they had probably forgotten all about me and would think I was a weirdo for wanting to ride rides with them.

However, upon arrival I was pleasantly surprised to see their faces light up when they saw me in the hall that morning. Several of them ran up to me and hugged me letting me know that I was indeed missed. It was nice to know that the feeling was mutual. I’m pretty sure my heart grew three sizes that day. After spending the day at the amusement park riding every scary ride the park provided I came home exhausted. We ended up eating frozen pizza that night because I was too tired to cook. I hadn’t eaten anything for lunch that day other than a fruit cup that cost me five bucks because I was sure all of the other options would make me sick after riding all of those rides. I couldn’t believe how sore I was, both my muscles and my throat from screaming.

On Wednesday Bridget graduated from 6th grade making her an official middle schooler. I woke up super early in order to doll her up for her big day. Isn’t she beautiful? I just love that girl!

I can’t believe how grown up she has gotten! I feel like it was just yesterday that she was starting elementary school.

Before I know it Penelope will be just as grown up and then I will have to have a mental breakdown.

During Bridget’s continuation ceremony Penelope got a little restless so Brent had to take her outside to play for a little while. When she came back to sit in my lap she was holding a sandy little twig that she kept calling “woohm”. I just giggled and whispered, “Yeah that does kind of look like a worm.”

That’s when Brent looked at me with a sheepish grin and said, “Well, actually… it is a worm.”

A crusty dried up worm… YUCK!

That’s what I get for trying to introduce her to nature through gardening. I’ve taught her that worms are our friends. I didn’t think she would take it quite so literally. That being said, Penelope has turned out to be quite the gardening partner. Every morning when we go out to water our plants I will tell her which vegetables we are growing. She’ll repeat after me and then say “Ohhh…. it’s so nummy!” I hope she’s just as enthusiastic about our vegetables when they are actually on her plate.

The one thing all of us are super excited about is the abundance of strawberries that are ripening in our strawberry patch as we speak!

Since Bridget was officially out of school we’ve spent the remainder of the week frolicking. We bought our pool passes…

and we’ve gone to the Littleton Museum to see our farm animal friends and to check out the gardens.

We’ve also spent several mornings sneaking out at the crack of dawn riding our bikes to the coffee shop. Penelope has discovered that the rocks that they use for landscaping provide the perfect impromptu sidewalk chalk…

And I have learned that I am fully capable of drinking iced coffee without sugar. That’s a big deal… that’s like Lindsay Lohan discovering that she is capable of having fun without ending up in rehab.

Now looking back at it we did manage to do a lot this week. This explains the massive amount of fatigue I’ve been struggling with. Maybe there is just too much day light in the day for me to handle. This week felt like a whirlwind. On top of trying to live it up with the kids I’ve been applying for jobs and secretly stressing over whether I will actually have a teaching job this coming fall.

The only working out I did was via the frolicking that took place during the day because like I said I was so tired. On Monday I was so tired, in fact, I felt like I could hardly get out of bed. I had the worst headache and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I have no idea what my problem was but it eventually passed. Since I was so tired and dizzy I just ate what made me feel better versus what I had planned on eating in an attempt to lose weight. It must have been a bug because Bridget felt the same way the next day.

Therefore, there was no attempt whatsoever to lose weight this week. I feel like such a poser…

I was really dreading stepping on the scale this morning. You can always tell when I feel this way if I ramble on about my kids and the cute things I’ve done with them on weigh-in day. That’s my way of stalling while I curse myself for writing this stupid weight loss blog.

When I woke up this morning I was certain I had gained weight due to my lack of effort this week but was surprised to see that I weighed exactly the same as I did last week… right down to the ounce, 184.2.

The reason I was cursing myself was because I was mad about the commitment I’ve made to try to be healthy. I was mad at my audacity of broadcasting every struggle I have with losing weight to the world. When things get tough I have a tendency to get defensive and proclaim the challenge at hand as stupid. I keep telling myself, “Nobody cares what you weigh Nina. Why do you keep broadcasting it?”

Sometimes I feel completely self involved when I sit down to write a post, it’s embarrassing. Being a weight loss blogger isn’t always easy, sometimes you just want to say, “Screw it! I do what I want!”

This is an everyday struggle that will remain for the rest of my life. It’s something we all go through but the difference is I’ve invited you all to watch me flounder around. This isn’t natural. When people lose weight they are supposed to have the internal struggle over eating peanut butter cups in private and when they win the battle they just show up at some event looking radiant.

Then when everyone asks them how they did it they can just smile and lie and tell them that it was simple.

I want to lie… I want to portray that effortless image!

But I can’t because if I did you would be able to see through all of my B.S. so the best thing I can do is call myself out when it comes to shenanigans. This is a secret blessing because in a sense I’m being forced to be honest with myself.  Sometimes you just have to kick your own ass. So guess what this coming week is going to entail…